378. Order of the Black Heart Organisational Matrix Review

I hired Fat Fingers Friday as my personal assistant because his CV demonstrated an ability to be in the vicinity of great history in the making:

You can imagine my surprise, then, to discover that Friday is completely unreliable, incompetent and slovenly. And, frankly, the Order of the Black Heart only has room for one person of that description.

The Order is therefore contemplating undertaking a transparent organisational matrix review with the aim of enhancing strategic alignment between the customer-facing divisions and the business support functions to identify synergies for integrating the deep-diving granularity of our customer experience experiences. It is possible, though not yet firmly decided, that such a game-changing 360 review may lead to the reallocation of key personnel resources and in certain dovetailing scenarios a re-conceptualising of overall workforce requirements. By about one.

I’ve done a The Google first-cut credentials review of some high-powered consulting-types that could assist the Order in this fairly tricky manoeuvre and have come up with the following:

  •  McKunsey’s
  • Boston Bun Consulting Group
  • Pain & Company
  • Accenturate
  • Joe’s Lube and Brakes (Taihape) Limited

So a big call out to the Order’s infernal internal stakeholders to let me know if you’ve ever used any of the above, and what you’d recommend as a going-forward approach in the current fiscal circumstances.

About Ned Davy

By hokey, the big fella’s tipped into his 50s. A rangy loose forward in his prime, good with the ball in hand, but rarely up with the play any more.
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2 Responses to 378. Order of the Black Heart Organisational Matrix Review

  1. Brotherphil says:

    Probably best to use the tried and true methods 1) a debate then a vote 2) a heated debate involving alcohol or 3) sleep on it.
    Actually best just do all three in the following order 2,1,3

  2. Ned Davy says:

    You have a great future in consultancy ahead of you, because I would have gone straight for 3,3,3,2 rinse and repeat.

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