Have a seat MrsDavy. This might take some time.
I know that you are intelligent, charming, kind, courageous, generous and all those other things, but …. but we have to accept that you have the glimmer of the possibility of the beginnings of a flaw when it comes to rugby.
Which is why I will treat you as though you suffer from Person of a French Persuasion Syndrome: I shall speak very slowly and very loudly, and assume you have no prior knowledge of how to queue politely.
Let’s start with the basics.
1. The Rugby World Cup is held every four years.
2. It was first held in New Zealand in 1987.
3. This year it will be held in England. (Although a couple of matches will be played just over the border in Wales, so remember to pack your passport for when you’re crossing the Severn Bridge. And pack plenty of extra euro in case there’s an unexpected Wentry [Wales joining the Eurozone] while you’re there: you don’t want to get caught short of the folding stuff on a Saturday night in deepest darkest Cardiff when you raise the little matter of Bob Deans.)
3. The previous locations and results are:
4. Several important things to take from that history:
- no team has won successive Cups
- Southern Hemisphere teams have won 6 of the 7 Cups
- New Zealand has never won the Cup overseas
- France has never won the Cup, but has played in three finals
- New Zealand, South Africa and Australia have each won the Cup twice.
That last point, of course, strikes you as unjust, unfair, unimaginable, and worrisome. It calls into question the moral basis of the universe. You wonder what Socrates and Augustine and all the ancient and modern philosophers would have to say about something so plainly abhorrent to right-thinking persons.
Ah, the vexed issue of theodicy. We shall return to this again and again.