In the Cricket World Cup in Wellington
England 123 all out (33.2 overs)
New Zealand 125 for two (12.2 overs)
There’s one word that can be applied to both teams from yesterday’s smash and grab: unbelievable.
The English press has found some other words, too. As we celebrate the Black Caps’ extraordinary performance, spare a thought for the English team reading their home reviews. (At least, they should read them if they want to own the thing.)
Jonathan Agnew at the BBC was blunt but polite:
England’s eight-wicket World Cup defeat by New Zealand in Wellington was the most one-sided one-day international between Test-playing nations that I can remember seeing.
It was almost too bad to put into words.
The Guardian headline England suffer humiliation as New Zealand romp to World Cup win was the warm-up act for the opening paragraph of a long-suffering fan’s raw pain:
England cricketing disasters can come with the bar set very high, but even by their lofty standards this was par excellence.
The defeat, at the hands of an urgent New Zealand superbly led by Brendon McCullum, went beyond the realms of simple humiliation and entered that of fantasy, a dream, a nightmare.
The Telegraph went for a faux-rhetorical question as the headline: Is this the worst day in England’s ODI history?
The day before this match Mark Ramprakash, the batting coach, was asked his view of the team’s batting. “Encouraging and exciting,” he said. “Laughable and lightweight,” would be better words. Only Joe Root showed any fight.
The Independent‘s Stephen Brenkley piled on with sarcasm: