The media’s got a sniff of my Christmas wishlist: getting Wayne “Wayne” Smitho back on the job of sharpening up the strings section for next year’s Coupe Mondial in Pongoland.
Chris Christopher is happy to pitch in a few pfennigs because he thinks I want the bloke for his superior analysis of tempo and pitch. Actually it’s because I reckon anybody who can get away with calling Lord Ted a kumara – “a bit wrinkly and old-looking on the outside but very sweet on the inside” – has to have a fair chance of swiping the crown jewels without Mrs Windsor noticing they’re even missing.
I’ll sit down and have a natter with “Wayne” over a few Maketu Pepper Steaks and a guzzle of gurgle. He’s obviously not a huge consumer of the pastry and piss himself, which is another thing in his favour: more for me.
Yours in glory
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