Ow! He threw his shoulder into my teeth!
What me? Bite someone? Deliberately? Never!
Okay, once before. Twice, then.
But I swear, this time, it was a plot by somebody else to bring me down. They’re all out to get me because my brilliance is a threat to their hegemony.
There’s no evidence. And if there is, it’s faked.
Or it was an accident. And they really are all out to get me.
So it’s their fault. Their fault. Their fault.
Why won’t you believe me?
RIP MH17Embed from Getty Images